


A Day In The Life (of Jonathan Crane)

by Bramfire



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentioned/Referenced Abuse, Trans Edward Nygma, Trauma, autistic Jonathan Crane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-04-25 09:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22288681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bramfire/pseuds/Bramfire
Summary: AU in which Jonathan Crane doesn't become the Scarecrow, and instead teaches for a living. Unfortunately for him, living in Gotham doesn't exactly give one a normal lifestyle.
Relationships: Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn/joker (past), Jonathan Crane & Harleen Quinzel, Jonathan Crane/Edward Nygma, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel
Comments: 17
Kudos: 75





	1. A Change of Pace

"Alright class, we'll end here for today, but remember that your essays on psychosis will be due Monday. Again, the paper is meant to take an unbiased stance on the actions of those you will be writing about. We are scientists, not lawyers. If I get one more essay about whether or not a certain rogue or criminal was justified in their action, I will not hesitate to hand out zeros. That said, I will see you all on Monday. Have a pleasant weekend"  
With this, Professor Crane began cleaning up his desk, muttering the occasional goodbye to a few of the students. He sighed tiredly, glad that no one had stopped to ask him any questions on their way out. With his papers put away, he grabs his laptop and makes his way to his office. When he gets to his office door, he notices that the door is unlocked. Jonathan’s eyes narrow, already dreading finding out which of his colleagues deemed it necessary to enter his office uninvited. Slowly creaking the door open, he finds not one of his fellow professors, but instead a man dressed in a light green suit and what was probably the tackiest tie Jognathan had ever had the displeasure of laying eyes on. It was a deep purple and covered in little white question marks. The man in question was sitting on his desk, fiddling with a Rubik's cube the professor has been given by one of his past students.  
“Nygma” Jonathan growls, setting his laptop on his desk. “Do what do I owe the displeasure of having you break into my office and touch my things?”  
“Jon! I’m glad you're here, I had almost begun to expect you had simply left after your last class! I was in the neighborhood and I figured you could use something to liven up your boring old teacher lifestyle a bit”  
“And you figured the way to do this was to break into my office? Give me one reason not to call the police and have them sick Batman on you.”  
With a chuckle, Edward put down the Rubix’s cube he had no doubt finished moments after picking the toy up. “I already determined you are not the kind of man to do such a thing, otherwise I would never waste my time here in the first place. Riddle me this, Jon; what it sharp as a whip but spends all its time teaching idiots?”  
Jonathan sighed, pinching his temples. He knew Edward was incapable of going so much as one conversation without a riddle or puzzle of some sort, he had only met the man twice and that had already become abundantly clear. “Is it me?”  
“It’s you! I knew I hung around you for a reason.”  
“Really? Because I always assumed the reason was a case of untreated OCD and a massively inflated ego that caused you to grow bored with almost anything you deemed not stimulating enough” He shot back, growing increasingly tired of Nygma’s presence.  
“Oh Don’t you go psychoanalyzing me, wise guy. Granted you are correct, but I’ll have you know It’s just a side effect of being the smartest man in Gotham,maybe even the smartest man in the world”  
“Of course, how could I forget your Narcissistic personality disorder. Silly me.”  
“Anyways, I figured you could use some actual friends, and good old Oswald gave me a plus one to the Iceberg Lounge. Sadly anyone else I had considered inviting was either in custody or already had their own ticket to the party, so I figured you would at least provide some semblance of an intelligent conversation compared to the buffoons that normally attend these types of gatherings.”  
At this Jonathan stopped his irritated pacing and slowly turned to face the shorter man. “You came here to… Invite me to the home of one of the most infamous mob boss in Gotham?”  
“...So?”  
“You know, Nygma? Sure. I could use a change of pace. And you know what? Maybe I can use this as a learning opportunity. Then when I come back to classes on Monday I might appreciate it all the more.”


	2. Coffee Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonathan spends the afternoon with his new friend
> 
> WARNING: reference to bullying, homophobia, and transphobia. also the word D*ke

“I’ll have a venti americano with, let's say seven shots. Blond please.”  
“Good lord, Jon, just do cocaine why don’t you” Edward scoffs, before ordering his drink.   
“I have papers to grade, you know. Besides, if you want me to come with you to the lounge, I get the feeling that I will be needing the energy.” At this Edward shrugs. “What time does the party start? I would prefer to go home and change into something a bit more formal, and if you plan on following me for the remainder of the day then I imagine I have to make time for you to get ready as well”  
“Oh please, I look amazing. Although, I imagine you don’t have any makeup at your place, and I could stand to fix my eyeliner.” Jonathan cocks an eyebrow curiously.  
“You won’t be going in your riddler suit? I figured that would be how we got in the door”  
“Jonathan!” Edward puts his hand on his chest in mock offence “I will have you know Ozzy is a good friend of mine. Why, I don’t even need an invitation to get in to The Lounge. Tonight however is invitation only, but worry not my friend! I do so much coding for Ozwald that I am assured invitations to any of his shindigs.”  
Jonathan rolls his eyes and walks to the counter. “Hello Professor Crane! Here’s your coffee” the young woman behind the counter smiles at him warmly. He nods and takes the coffee.  
“Thank you, Molly. I hope you have a pleasant weekend. Don’t work too hard now” Jonathan’s features softened as he says his goodbyes to the girl, before settling back to his neutral expression. Edward watches the conversation with curiosity, surprised at the sight of Jonathan being anything but stoic and turse. Upon hearing his name be called, he grabs his coffee and follows Jonathan out of the store.  
They make their way to an old, red truck in the parking lot, entirely indestinct were it not for the massive gash it had running through the passenger side door. Jonathan unlocks the car, flipping through a few keys before finding the right one and hopping inside the car.   
“I figured a college funded by the Wayne Foundation would be able to pay their teachers enough money to afford a working car.”  
“They do. I just don’t see the need to replace something that still works. Now, will you need me to stop by your house or not?” Edward just shakes his head, so he takes that as a no and makes his way back to his apartment.   
Pulling up to the old building, Jonathan parks the truck and leads Edward to the front door of his building. “Take off your shoes at the door. Mind the bird”  
“Mind the what-” Edward is immediately cut off by the sound of flapping wings and a sharp caw in his ear. He lets out a shout and puts up his arms to protect his face from whatever it was that was seemingly attacking him, only to open his eyes and see a large crow perched on Jonathan’s arm.  
“This is Cornchip. She’s partially blind in one eye so don’t go trying to pet her on her left. Also, I won’t be held responsible for anything she takes from you, so keep your watch hidden.”  
“You know, I figured you must have some sort of hobby outside of being the most boring man alive, but I never pegged you for the type to own pets. I must say though, corvids are a fine choice of pet to have! Very intelligent animals, yes you are little one” He coos at the bird, allowing her to hop on his arm and make her way to his shoulder. “Does she know any phrases? Oh hello now, please don’t eat my tie, thank you”  
Jonathan stifles a smile before turning and walking towards the large cage that seems to take up the majority of his living room. “She only knows how to laugh creepily and,despite my best efforts, she has taken up the habit of mimicking this silly little greeting. Cornchip? Hroo Hraa”  
“HRROO HAARAA” The bird squawks in reply, earning a hearty laugh from Edward.  
“Why, how talented! By why ‘Hroo Hraa’? Does it mean anything?”  
“It originated from her trying to copy my laugh and say hello to me at the same time. I admit, she might have learned her habit of chuckling from me as well. I’ve been told I sound like some sort of witch. Not the worst thing I’ve been called, that's for sure.”  
“And what would the worst be, might I ask?”  
“Scarecrow. I was always skinny and tall, and as a child growing up in a farming community the local boys found it easy to make the comparison.” With a humm, he adds “I suppose they also called me a queer, but that never stung so much. Besides, they called any boy who wasn’t in a sport and liked the company of books queer. It just meant I was smarter than them, and I hardly felt the need to argue in that respect.”  
“Hah! They used to call me queer too, but that was because I am. At least they stopped calling me a dyke after a while.”  
Jonathan just nodded in response before making his way to his room “Well, I think I’ll grab a quick shower before the party. Feel free to grab something from the fridge, but just know that you’ll likely have to share with Cornchip.”

An hour later, the two men got into the old truck and made their way to the infamous Iceberg Lounge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading so far! I have no update schedule but I hope to keep trucking through a few chapters. The rest of the rogues gallery will be appearing next chapter!
> 
> My tumblr is @bramfire if you want to ask me any questions about the AU


	3. Cold Fancy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonathan and Edward make their way to the party, and Jonathan finds it surprisingly not as chaotic as he expected from a band of criminals.
> 
> Also, we get to meet some more Rogues!

After parking the truck somewhere that Jonathan had deemed it was at least slightly less likely to be broken into, the two men made their way to the lounge. The line at the side entrance was down the street, and the guard who stood watch made no move to let anyone in any time soon. Despite this, Edward made his way right up to the man and cleared his throat loudly.   
“Good afternoon, Peacock! I will be bringing a guest with me today, so do me a favor and try not to scare him too much.”  
The bodyguard, apparently named Peacock, just rolled his eyes and held out a hand. “Invite only, Mr. Riddler, It’s a special event tonight, you know this.”  
With an exaggerated sigh, the shorter man rustled through his pockets and pulled out a small, black and gold invitation. “As if Ozzy wouldn't invite me. Really, my man, you insult me. Jonathan, come along, I don’t like to be out here longer than we have to. The people who wait in line at these kinds of events are all poparazzi, and I hate seeing my face on those dumb gossip magazenes. I swear, you can’t bring anyone to a fancy event without them automatically being your date.”  
Jonathan quickly made his way inside, the idea of people taking pictures of him making him uneasy. As they made their way across the lounge, Edward made eye contact with someone across the room and began leading them towards them.  
In a smaller booth near the main bar was two men, both shorter in stature and one with a large green hat on his head. Upon coming closer, Jonathan recognized one of the men as Oswald Cobblepot. The other, however, was unfamiliar to him. Edward leaned in closer to Jonathan, trying to get his attention over the noise of the crowds.  
“Looks like Ozzy is stuck in another long conversation with Jervis. I say we save the poor man before he gets goes deaf in one ear.” He hooks his arm around Jonathan’s and pulls the lanky man towards the table. “Ozzy! Good to see you! And Jervis, enjoying being on the outside again?”  
Standing up from the table, Ozwald walks over to give Edward a hug, patting the taller man on the back. He then pulls him down by the shirt and whispers something in his ear before patting Edward on the cheek and waving goodbye to Jervis.  
“I am so glad to see you Ed, I am terribly sorry that I can not stay to talk but I’m afraid I simply must attend to something. You and your guest are welcome to whatever you want from the bar, as per usual.” With this, he turns on his heels and makes his way back to the party, disappearing among the crowd.  
“What was that about?” Jonathan whispered to Edward. He was simply waved off with the promise of being told if it became an issue.  
“Well! Jervis, my good man, would you mind entertaining my guest here while I grab us drinks? I assume tea for you, of course”  
Jervis hummed in agreement, clapping his hands together excitedly. “Oh yes doormouse, I do so trust your taste in tea. Oh, but introductions, introductions must be done! It is only propper! Hello my good man, I am the Mad Hatter! But you may call me Jervis. Who might you be?”  
“Well, hello… Jervis. I am Dr. Jonathan Crane. I am a professor at Gotham Academy, and an acquaintance of Nygma.”  
The man's eyes lit up brightly as he took Jonathans hands in his own “My goodness, are you the Jon that Edward has been speaking of? The one who solved his riddles so easily when he held up that bank a few months back? Goodness, I remember him staying up for days trying to find you, only to see your face on the back of a book in a library only days later! You keep quite the low profile for a man who has written so many papers, that is for sure.”  
Jonathan raises an eyebrow, giving Edward an amused glance. “Really? You found me so interesting that you simply had to find me? What, were you going to kill me for having outwitted you?”  
“Oh please, Jervis is exaggerating. I gave a simple cursory glance on the internet to see if you were someone of note, that's all. You only became truly interesting when I read your book. Who am I to pass up the chance to find someone who I can test my riddles on?” With a huff, he makes his way to the bar. “Now, if introductions are done, I will be getting our drinks now.”

Upon them being left alone, Jervis turned towards Jonathan expectancy. "So! What has the March Hair done to find himself in Wonderland?" The short man hummed.  
Jonathan tensed, looking at Jervis with distrust. March Hare? Had his name really been disregarded so quickly? At the very least, the March Hare had been an ally to the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland, so he was fairly confident that he was not to be threatened by the short criminal. "Surely I have no idea what you mean. I really have nothing to do with all of this" he waves a hand to his surroundings.  
"Oh, don't be silly, my dear Hare! Surely no regular man off the street would be able to impress our Doormouse! You belong in Wonderland with us." He grinned, kicking his legs back and forth under the table, legs a little too short to reach the floor.  
Jonathan avoided eye contact, fingers beginning to twitch nervously. "Nygma hangs around me because I solved his riddles, nothing more.”  
“Oh poppycock! Our Doormouse hates when people solve his riddles, it angers him to no end. Why, he spends most of his days trying to outwit the Bandersnatch! No no, he saw something in you. Us denizens of Wonderland can recognize each other. You may not be a member of the Gotham underworld, but you’re right at home with us.”  
Before he could reply, Edward had made his way back with a plate of three drinks, two hot teas and one iced. Sliding the iced drink to Jonathan, he sits down and holds his mug. “So, what have you ladies been gossiping about while I was gone?”  
“Oh nothing of concern. Just of shoes, and ships, and sealing-wax.”  
“Of cabbages and kings?” Edward responds in an almost reflexive manner.  
“And why the sea is boiling hot!”  
“And-”  
“-Whether pigs have wings” Jonathan finishes the quote before Edward has the chance.  
Jervis flaps his hands in joy, clearly thrilled by this little interaction. “Oh you see, you see! I knew you belonged at the table, my Hare!”  
“Oh my, Jonathan, I leave you for a moment and you already made yourself a seat at the proverbial table? I am impressed.”  
And with that, Jonathan found himself relaxing slightly. Sipping his tea, the rest of the night seems to go along smoothly, with the occasional quoting of Lewis Carrol and surprisingly pleasant conversation. Soon, Jonathan finds himself growing tired, quietly asking Edward if they had any other people to speak to before they could leave for the night.  
“I am afraid I am at my limit for socializing today. I would be grateful if we could make our way back so I can have time to drop you off before I become completely tired of your company.”  
“Very well, I suppose you have humored me nearly all day after all. Jervis, tell Ozwald that his party was lovely. And let me know if you need me to get you any of your pills, ok? I know the withdrawal can be nasty, especially with whatever concoction they usually have you on.”  
“Oh, thank you Doormouse, but I do believe I am doing quite fine! The worst of it has passed, anyhow. And Ozwald is letting me stay in his manner until I can find myself a new hideaway that has not been discovered by the Bandersnatch.”  
After exchanging pleasantries, the two men make their way back to the car and begin their drive home.  
“Are you going to tell me where you’re staying, or am I going to have to drop you off on some street corner to find your way back on your own?”  
“Just drop me off by the docks, it isn’t too far a walk.” With a nod, Jonathan makes his way to the docks, saying goodbye to Edward before finally, at nearly 2am, making his way back home.

Upon arrival, he takes off his coat and flops down on the loveseat in his living room. Just as he sits down, the doorbell rings. With a reluctant sigh, Jonathan drags himself up from his comfortable new position and walks to the door. “Nygma, I swear if you’re bothering me again today I am blocking your-” As he opens the door, his eyes go wide. There in front of him was a woman in her late twenties, soaked to the bone and covered in blood, some of which Jonathan doubted was her own.  
“Hey professa, I don’t know if you remember me, but I was one’a ya students a few years back. Can I come inside?”


	4. An Unexpected Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, getting into the meat of the fic!  
Content warning for mentions of abuse. Nothing too in-depth for now, but we'll be getting into that more in the next few chapters

“Hey professa, I don’t know if you remember me, but I was one’a ya students a few years back. Can I come inside?”  
Jonathan stood there for a moment, too shocked to speak, before shaping back to the reality of the situation before him. “Harleen? Child, is that you? Come inside, let me get you something warm to wear, and a cup of tea.” He ushered her inside, sitting her down on his lounge chair that he had just set up for himself and moving his laptop and papers to a nearby desk.  
“Thanks Proffessa Crane, you’se was always such a sweet guy! Ohh, is that a birdy? Hello sweet birdy baby” She cooes at the crow.  
“Harley? I’ll let you pet the bird later, but for now I’m going to grab you something to wear and a first aid kit, ok?” She just nods in response, kicking her legs back and forth.   
Jonathan hurried to his room and began looking through his closet for anything that might fit the smaller woman. He settles on a black t-shirt and some pajama pants, as well as a Gotham University hoodie. After making a pitstop to grab some gauze and a first aid kit, he makes his way back to the living room.   
“Here, these should be much more comfortable than what you have on. You can change in the bathroom, it's just down the hall.” She takes the clothes and skips to the bathroom, leaving Jonathan to slump onto the couch and finally process what just happened. Did he really just let a second criminal into his house? How did she find out where he lived, did Nygma put his address on some sort of public list of people to bother at odd times of the night? And most importantly, why come to him? She could have gone anywhere, but the poor girl clearly wanted to go somewhere her clown boyfriend wouldn't think to look. At least, Jonathan hoped the Joker wouldn’t think to search here, no matter how much he wanted to, there was no way he could fight off the clown prince of crime.  
Before he could continue his train of thought, Harley made her way back into the living room, doing a little twirl to show off her new outfit.   
“Man, I feel like I’m back in college! Wearing pajamas and pulling an all-nighter with one’a my classmates” She grinned, making her way over to Jonathan and pulling him into a big hug. “It’s like a sleepover! Oh, can we make popcorn?”  
“...Of course, child, I can make whatever snacks you want. But first, let's take care of that nasty cut on your head, ok?” Jonathan replied, ushering her onto the couch. “I’m going to clean it now, please tell me if it hurts, ok?” With a nod from Harley, he began to gingerly clean up the blood on her face and forehead, before wrapping the bigger cuts with gauze. With a sigh, he throws away the bloodied paper towel and goes to wash his hands. “Now, I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, and we don’t have to tonight if you don’t want to, but I have to ask. What happened?”  
Harley averted her eyes, one leg bouncing nervously. “It really ain’t as bad as it looks, promise! Mistah J and I just got into a little argument, that’s all. I just need somewhere to sleep for a night or two, that’s all.”  
“Harley… You can stay as long as you need, ok? But please, you have to know that this is not ok. He can’t do this to you, no matter how angry he is. That Isn’t something you do to someone you love, you know that right?”  
“I… I don’t think I wanna talk about this right now, Professah...”  
“That’s ok, Harley. You’ve clearly been through a lot tonight. How about I get you some of that tea I promised, ok? And some popcorn, too. While you eat, I’ll set up the guest bedroom. And here, how about you keep Cornchip company too?” He smiles softly, before going to Cornship’s cage and gently handing her to Harley.   
Leaving her to coo over the sleepy crow, Jonathan made his way to the kitchen to prepare them some tea and popcorn. With popcorn in the oven and water on the stove, he set to the task of making his guest room, normally just a place to store his books, into somewhere Harley would feel comfortable spending the night. Maybe he should get the heated blanket, or a few extra pillows. Would she be ok staying in the room alone? Sure, she was a grown woman, but she had gone through a lot. Maybe he should offer to stay awake with her for the night. She had suggested the idea of a sleepover, and he was sure he had some movies somewhere. He decided to bring up the idea to Harley and let her make the call. Hearing the microwave ding, Joanthan made his way back to the kitchen and made two cups of tea and a bowl of popcorn. Upon walking back into the living room, however, he found Harley fast asleep on the chair with Cornchip relaxed on her lap.   
Deciding to leave her be for the night, he grabbed a blanket and tucked the woman in, gently moving the crow back into her cage, and making his way, exhausted, to bed for the night. He would decide what to do about Harley in the morning, but for now, he was just happy to pass out in his bed.


	5. A Freind In Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonathan comes to terms with the fact that he just let a criminal crash on his couch. How does he keep getting into these situations.

Morning came much faster than Jonathan would have liked. Still exhausted from the previous night, Jonathan dragged himself out of bed. He threw on an oversized t-shirt and walked to the bathroom, brushing his hair and putting on a pair of glasses. Satisfied with his appearance, Jonathan decided it was about time to make breakfast and check on Harley. He hoped he had enough food in the fridge to make something for the two of them, eggs and toast at the very least. Maybe he had some pancake mix in the closet somewhere?  
Jonathan walked into the kitchen and began looking through his cabinets, grabbing some pancake mix that he was fairly certain hadn't gone bad and placing it on the counter before making his way to the fridge. After making sure he had enough eggs, he preheat the oven and started on the batter. Cooking may not be Jonathan's strong suit, but he was damned if he wouldn’t be a good host to Harley. It was the least he could do to make the poor girl feel better. Food may not fix everything, but Jonathan always believed that healing was much harder to do on an empty stomach.   
“Proffessah?” Muttered a tired voice from the hallway, causing Jonathan to jump a little.  
He turned around to find Harley standing in the doorway to the kitchen, hair sticking up and every direction. “Harley, good morning. I hope I didn’t wake you” he says while pouring the batter into the pan.  
“Nah, don’t worry about that! Whatcha cookin?” She made her way over to look over Jonathan’s shoulder. “Ohh, pancakes!”  
With a smile, Jonathan handed her the plate that he had used to place the already finished pancakes. “Here, while I finish the rest, how about you get started on eating? I put some maple syrup on the table and there’s whipped cream in the fridge.”  
Harley planted a kiss on his cheek before skipping over to the table and pouring an obscene amount of maple syrup onto her pancakes. Jonathan placed the last few pancakes on another plate before grabbing a few smaller pieces and walking over to Cornchip’s cage. “Good morning my sweet little harebringer of doom. Why aren’t you looking just sinister this morning. Will a snack make you promise not to bite me this morning?” He cooed to the crow, opening her cage and giving her a scratch under the chin. She hopped her way up onto Jonathan’s shoulder and began pruning his hair, giving him the occasional nip on the ear. “Hey now, I said no biting, Y’hear?” He chided softly, handing her a mini pancake. Satisfied that she was in a good mood, he made his way back to the kitchen and sat down to eat.

The morning went fairly smoothly, with Harley eating nearly all the pancakes before entertaining herself by playing with Cornchip. Jonathan began grading some of the essays that had been submitted early for one reason or another before moving on to other emails and inquiries from his students and coworkers. Hesitating, Jonathan decided he had one more person to contact.

[11:25am, to Nygma]  
Hello Nygma, I hope I am not bothering you. I just wished to inquire about one of your fellow rogues, if that is ok with you.

[11:27am, Nygma]  
Oh ho ho! Interested in one of the folks we met last night? What, have you fallen for Jervis or Ozzy? 

[11:30am,to Nygma]  
Absolutely not. I actually wanted to ask what you knew about the situation with the Joker and Harley Quinn.

[11:32am, Nygma]  
What, that he’s a piece of garbage who should never be let within a hundred yards of another human being? Why do you ask

Jonathan stared at his phone, wondering if he should tell Edward about the situation. Surely if he hated Joker that much he would be inclined to keep Harley’s whereabouts a secret. But at the same time, Edward was a criminal with a distorted moral compass. But, surely even the Riddler understood the gravity of the situation.

[11:45am, to Nygma]  
I may be currently giving safe haven to Harleen. She was a student of mine once. I admit it was a spur of the moment decision, but she somehow found out where I live and came to me asking for help. I simply want to know how much danger I am in, that is all.

[11:46am, Nygma]  
What

[11:46am, Nygma]   
I will be over in five, do NOT move or leave your house. 

He looked at his phone with shock. Was Edward really that worried? Maybe he had bitten off more than he could chew after all. He got up from his chair and walked over to the couch where Harley was laying down, entertaining herself with a book she had grabbed off of Jonathan’s shelf.  
“I’m going to make some ice tea. We are going to have a guest soon, unfortunately.” Upon seeing Harley’s look of panic, he quickly added “No police or anyone who might pose a threat, I promise. Just a friend who might be able to help, that’s all.”  
After a moment of hesitation, Harley nodded skeptically. With that, Jonathan made his way to the kitchen to begin making tea. A few minutes later there was a sharp knock at the door. Jonathan walked over and opened only to be immediately grabbed by his shirt collar.  
“Jonathan!” Edward hissed, pulling Jonathan’s face closer to his “Did you seriously decide to invite in the second craziest clown in Gotham into your house??”  
“I invited you here” Jonathan shot back, pulling away from Edward. “What else was I supposed to do? The poor girl was hurt and came to me for help!”  
“Ah-hem?” A voice interrupted them “Are you two done makin out or are you gonna tell me why the fricken RIDDLER is in ya house?”  
“Why are YOU in his house?!” Edward shot back  
“Both of you be quiet!” Jonathan shouted, causing both the rogues to shrink back. He sighed, rubbing his temples. “Harley, this is Edward Nygma, Nygma, this is Harleen Quinzel. In my house, you are NOT the Riddler and Harley Quinn, is that understood?” Before either of them could respond, he walked away and towards where Cornchip was perched. “Now, Nygma? I asked for your help because you are, unfortunately for my stress levels, a friend. And Harley is in a delicate situation right now. I was wondering if you would be able to help me figure out the best way to keep Harley safe. I know you don’t do favors for free, so I’ll be willing to pay whatever it is you need to get the job done. Contact Ozwald, hack into the police database, whatever will keep Harley safe from… Him.”  
Both Harley and Edward just stood there, too shocked to speak. After a moment, Edward slowly nodded, his face hardened. “You really do care about her, huh? You’re serious about this.”  
Jonathan was pale, his face even more unreadable than usual. He paused a moment before whispering “I just can’t let this happen again.”  
The two rogues looked at each other with confusion and worry on their faces. “Jonathan, I promise you I will do whatever I can to keep both of you safe. As for payment, all I require is the promise that I too can crash at your place should my current hideout become compromised. Does that sound like a deal?” He stuck out his hand, waiting. After a moment of hesitation, Jonathan took the man's hand in his own and nodded. Happy with the deal being made, Edward turned around and sat down in Jonathan’s seat, taking out a phone that Jonathan was fairly certain was not the one he had the previous day, and started typing.   
“Now, Harley, are you ok with just two or three people knowing your location? I was thinking we would simply tell Ozzy to keep an eye on the Joker for us, and not tell him why, but I will be telling Pamela, mostly because she would feed me to her plants if I didn’t.”  
“Oh!” Harley perked up, rocking back and forth on her heels. “Geeze, I can’t believe I didn’t think to call Red! Professah, you’ll just love Red, she's so smart!”  
Edward scoffed, rolling his eyes. “No he won’t. And more importantly, she’ll hate him. She hates people in general, remember? She only likes you and maybe that old lady she buys her cactuses from at the farmers market.”  
“I couldn’t care less if she likes me, as long as she can keep Harley safe. And not kill me, if we can manage that.” Jonathan added, remembering the reports about Pamela Isely that he had read.  
“I’ve managed to keep her from killing me, so we can probably arrange that” Edward joked, sending a quick text. “Alright, second, I will be contacting Waylon as well. He has the most knowledge about the Gotham underground, so if Joker is using the sewers or anywhere Waylon deems his territory in order to look for you, he would know. Thankfully he also owes me a favor, so we won’t have an issue.”  
Jonathan nodded, perking up a little. “You know, Waylon was actually a patient of mine once.”  
“Woah, really? I thought you just taught!” Harley cherped in.  
“Well, I am certified to do anything in the field of psychology, so occasionally Jeramiah would ask me to help with patients who he felt fell into my area of expertise. Of course, now that Dr. Strange is the one in charge, I don’t feel like I'll be answering any of their calls any time soon. The man rubs me the wrong way.”  
“Ugh, that reminds me, I need to see if Bolton is out of Arkham, he could be a hindrance to any plan I come up with. He has the terrible habit of bothering me at exactly the wrong time.” Edward scowled. The three of them shuddered at the name, all clearly having their own issues with the man. “Well, despite the potential for that brute to stick his head where it doesn’t belong, I think I can put together a plan to keep our good Harleen safe.”  
“Good. Now, I think we could all use something to eat. Harley, would you help me make something for lunch?” Jonathan asked softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. With a smile, she followed Jonathan into the kitchen, and the three of them worked in peace for the rest of the afternoon.


	6. Domestic Trials

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note here, we do get a little more into Harley's situation, and they have a talk about mental disabilities and such. I feel comfortable with writing Crane's take on his own autism, but I will say I have no experience with the life of someone with histrionic personality disorder, as I have written Harley to have. Please let me know if I say or write anything that is false or harmful! Unfortunately many sources while researching personality disorders are biased and have no details from people actually living with the disorders   
Also, sorry its a little short but it felt like a good place to stop for this chapter!

The following day was much calmer than the previous two, giving Jonathan time to prepare for his classes that week. It was surprising how easily he and Harley fell into a ritual. Wake up, make breakfast, have Harley help him clean the birdcage, and start working on whatever he needed finished for work. It was… comfortable. He liked it. Of course, he had no idea what he was going to do come Monday when he had to leave for work. Harley had offered to stay at home, but Jonathan wasn’t sure how safe it was to leave her alone just yet. After all, there was no way Edward had managed to secure protection for the house over just one afternoon of work. Standing up from the table he had been working at, Jonathan walked over to where Harley had been sitting, reading psych theories aloud to Cornchip.   
“Harley dear, would you like to come with me to the store? I figure we can grab you some civilian clothes and whatever toiletries you’ll need for extended stay.”  
“Extended stay? Wait, so you was for real about me staying for like, as long as I need to? Professah, you know that might be until Mistah J is back in Arkham, right? He was REALLY mad at me this time...” Harley muttered the last part, looking sheepish.   
“I would never joke about your safety, Harley. You know you can stay as long as you need, and I put no time limit on how much time you need to feel safe. Now, how about you get ready and we can grab something to eat while we’re out.” He then took Cornchip from Harley’s lap, giving the bird a scratch on the cheek before moving her back to her cage. While Harley got dressed, Jonathan started making a list of things to buy while they were out. Harley would be picking out her outfits, but Jonathan figured he should make sure they didn’t forget the essentials. Toothbrush, her own shampoo and conditioner, whatever makeup she wanted to get, and maybe some new shoes were on his list. Maybe he should let her grab some bedsheets? Jonathan shook his head and decided to simply see where the day took them. After all, there was no saying how long she would need to stay hidden here, and his guest room was really just a library and storage room at the moment. Did she even have any money to her name? He figured The Joker wasn’t exactly the sharing type, so who was to say if the poor girl even had a cent to her name. He would have to stop buying so many books if he was going to be buying her everything he planned on getting while they were out. He decided to worry about it later. After all, he made enough money to afford having her stay for at least a few months before it started eating into his savings. Maybe he could write her down as a dependent? Before he could think about it further, Harley came back into the living room. The two of them left the house and made their way to Jonathan’s car. Harley pulled her hoodie around her head in an attempt to look inconspicuous, ducking into the truck with a grin on her face. Jonathan chuckled, still not used to how high energy she was.   
“Oh, can we get sushi after? I haven’t had sushi in a while.” She asked, flipping through the radio stations.  
“Sure, I think we can swing that. It’ll have to be to go, I have some work to finish up before lectures tomorrow.” Jonathan noticed Harley slump a little at that, looking out the window. “Hey, you know? I was thinking, would you like to join me tomorrow? I have a lecture to give, but other than that I’ll just be in my office in case any of my students need to talk to me. I imagine they won’t mind having you sit in on a lecture. Most of them don't even pay attention to me, let alone their classmates.”  
“Really? Oh, I would love to!” Harley yelled, causing Jonathan to flinch back a little. “Oops, sorry, small car I know” She smiled sheepishly, still bouncing her legs in excitement. “What class do you have tomorrow?”  
“Just an intro to Psychology class, nothing too interesting. I do plan on talking about the amygdala however, and you know I can get a little sidetracked when we begin the topic of fears and such.”  
“Oh I remember” Harley giggled “You could go on an on about it. Can’t blame a guy for having a special interest, Y’know?”  
Jonathan laughed nervously, forgetting briefly that Harley knew about him being autistic. “I guess it is the main one, huh?”  
“Hey, who am I to judge right? We all got our weird symptoms. I mean,I fell in love with a clown for Christ’s sake. You decided to be useful and write a dang book. I guess people deal with their issues differently” She mutters, an edge to her voice.  
“...Harleen, I-”  
“No, I’m sorry, that was mean. I just, I wish I was one of the good ones, y’know? You deal with stuff so well and I… I took the first escape I could, I guess. I wish I could’a just been the cool doctor who related to patients and made em feel safe, like you did with students like me.”  
“Harley, you have histrionic personality disorder, I have autism. Those two present themselves much differently. It isn’t your fault you fell victim to that manipulative prick. You were dealing with your symptoms fine, it was him who interrupted your life and took advantage of your weaknesses. You were in an unstable time in your life, and he took advantage of that. If I had been in your place, he would have used a different technique to trick me into thinking he was the victim, and the same thing for anyone else who would have treated him. You were just the one who accepted his case. You were kind, and young, and he took advantage of that.” He only stopped his angry speech when he heard a sniffle, quickly looking over to Harley, having worried he offended her.   
“Thank you, Professah” She sobbed, wiping her face on her sleeve. “I’m sorry I got snappy, it’s just been such a stressful couple a days.”  
Relieved, Jonathan smiled softly at the crying girl. “Hey, don’t cry, you’ll be alright. How about you grab some tissues from the glove box and blow your nose. We can cheer you up with some shopping, alright?” With a sniffle Harley nodded, already looking happier than she had a moment ago. “And Harley?” He added “You don’t need to call me professor anymore. Jonathan is fine.”


	7. Shopping and Sushi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some pleasant shopping with Jon and Harley! (bonus fact, their two sushi choices are based on my favorite sushi. Just a fun little factoid for ya)

While Harley made her way around the store, oohing and aahing at various clothing items, Jonathan started looking for essentials like shampoo and the like. After spending some time trying to figure out if Harley would prefer strawberry or coconut scent, he heard someone clear their throat next to him.  
“Um, excuse me sir, but your daughter or whatever just threatened another customer and I really don’t want to deal with that today.” He looked over at the store employee who had grabbed his attention, already feeling a headache coming on.  
“She’s not… Whatever, where is she, I’ll get her.” He sighed. Following the man, he found his way to where Harley was looking at a few dresses, about a dozen other clothing items draped over each arm. She waved at him as he made his way over.  
“Jonathan, doesn’t this dress look sooooo cute? Some other lady wanted to buy it but it was the last one, and there was no way she could pull it off anyhow.”  
“Harleen, please don’t scare people like that, you’re supposed to be lying low, remember?” Jonathan scolded, annoyed that she was already gaining negative attention. “And that does look nice, yes. Maybe try being less aggressive with our shopping though, if you can manage. I don’t feel like having to talk to the police today. Or any day for that matter.”  
She pouted but nodded in agreement anyways, looking a little apologetic. “Alright, I’ll try. Oh but hey, after I try these on we can skedaddle outta here and grab somethin to eat!”  
He hummed in response. While she tried her clothing on, Jonathan stood awkwardly by the register. Luckily the store was relatively empty, a slight relief to Jonathan. At the very least they weren’t likely to garner any more attention as long as they left quickly. Noticing Harley walked over to him, he let out a breath and motioned her over.   
“Alright, let’s pay for this and get lunch.”  
“Wait, we’re gonna pay for this?” Looking at the stern gaze Jonathan gave her, she quickly added “Uh, just kidding? I’ve never not paid for somethin in my life, cause I’m a law abidin citizen.” She nodded, earning an eye roll from the tired cashier.   
“That’ll be 253.75, please.”  
“Jesus” Jonathan muttered under his breath, handing the man his card. He was grateful they weren’t going to need to go shopping again for some time, especially if this was going to be how much he ended up spending each time. After bagging the clothes the two of them made their way back to the car. 

“Hey, how about we go to this nice place I know in New gotham! I know it’s a bit of a drive, and technically it’s one a Penguins fronts, but the lady there makes the best fancy tuna rolls I ever had! C’mon, It’ll be fun!”  
Jonathan sighed, pulling out his phone “Alright, I suppose. What’s the place called, I’ll get directions.”  
“The Roe House. It’s in a back alley sorta place, but we’ll blend right in. After all, you look like your goin to a funeral.” Harley giggled, poking his black dress shirt.  
“...It’s a good color” He mutters, cheeks turning pink. Shaking his head, he quickly types the restaurant into his GPS and starts the car.   
Harley was right in saying it was a bit of a drive. Unfortunately for them there had been a police chase that had shut down the majority of the streets in one of the corners of Old Gotham, forcing them to go the long way around. After a frustrating half hour, they finally arrived at The Roe House. Thankfully there seemed to be no police in the area, likely due to so many of them having been called to the chase. After parking the car in a nearby lot they made their way to the restaurant. Jonathan found himself pleasantly surprised at the nice quality of the restaurant, especially for the location. Harley pulled her sweater hood tighter and grinned at Jonathan before walking through the fancy beaded doorway. Quickly following, Jonathan found himself in what was arguably probably one of the nicest sushi restaurants he had ever been to. Despite its small size, it comfortably housed a decent number of guests. The interior had a pleasant candle-lit glow, and the walls were adorned with traditional Japanese watercolors and ink paintings. The place seemed to be mostly empty aside from the staff and a small group of what Jonathan assumed were some of Two-Face’s gang members. He was thankful that the men seemed to be on break, laughing and playing cards.   
Harley walked up to the bar and sat down, motioning Jonathan to do the same. “I know what I’m gonna get, what about you, Jonny?” Jonathan flinched at the ‘Jonny’ bit but didn’t protest, instead taking a menu and looking it over.   
“I suppose I’ll take the spider roll, then.” He says, setting the menu down. The waitress makes her way over and takes their order before getting them some water. After a short wait they are given two to-go boxes and a small container of saké.  
“For my favorite customer.” The woman says with a wink, causing Harley to laugh.   
“Shhh!” She whispers, pointing at her hoodie. “I’m bein’ a regular civilian for a bit. Lyin low, capiche?” With a smile and a decent tip to ensure the woman stays quiet, the two make their way back home. After a pleasant lunch, Jonathan retreats to his room to finish work and leaves Harley to decorate her room how she pleases.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll be real I wrote this chapter before the last one but was debating on if I wanted it as a one-shot within the same universe or an actual chapter, but I figured I'm gay and I can do what I want so enjoy some light Scriddler content this chapter!

How long was it going to take to finish this lesson? Jonathan had spent nearly all night trying to fix the next day's lesson based on some new research he had found the previous week. Even if it ended up being disproved, he still wanted to keep up to date on all current research in the area they were covering in class. Leaning back in his chair, Jonathan tapped his pencil on his desk. Finally deciding that his lecture was sufficiently updated, he closed his laptop and began putting away his papers.   
Suddenly there was a noise at his window. Jonathan stopped, suddenly becoming very aware of how late it had gotten. Was someone trying to rob him? He grabbed a bat from next to his bed and pulled a burlap mask from his closet. He had planned on using it as an example of evolutionary fears in his lecture the next day, but scaring away an intruder seemed a logical use for it. Slowly making his way to his window, he threw it open with a flourish before being tackled to the ground by a familiar masked man.  
“Nygma?” Jonathan hissed, going from concerned to pissed off in a matter of moments. “What the hell are you trying to-”  
He was cut off by Edward putting a hand to his mouth before getting up and closing the window again. “Listen, there’s no time to explain, we need to hide.” With that he grabbed the other man, taking a moment to look at the bag over his head before deciding it wasn’t worth asking about before dragging Jonathan to the closet and shoving him in. With a cursory glance around the room, he squished his way into the closet, closing the door.  
“What-” he grunted, adjusting his lanky frame to be more comfortable “-on Earth do you think you are doing?” Suddenly he heard what had Edward scared. The sound of someone landing on his roof made him shut his mouth, very aware of how loud his breathing was. He glanced down at the other man who was pressed firmly into his chest, breath ragged and eyes unfocused. They waited there for what seemed like forever, ears straining for any sound that might indicate the threat had passed. After a few minutes of hearing nothing but each other's breathing, Jonathan let out a sigh. He hadn’t realized how close the two of them were until the adrenalin wore off. Slightly dazed, he realized the sensory issues he usually felt when dealing with contact from others seemed almost dulled. He chalked it up to adrenaline, trying to ignore how surprisingly comfortable he felt despite the cramped position they had found themselves in.  
“...Alright, I think he’s gone.” Edward muttered, still quiet for fear that the perceived threat was still within earshot.  
“He? Nygma, who the hell was following you?” Jonathan hissed. Hearing a muffled “Bat” in response, Jonathan shoved Edward out of the closet and onto his back with a painful thud. “BATMAN? You brought BATMAN to my house? Do you have any idea how much danger we could be in? Harley is sleeping two rooms down you idiot, if he found her, it would be over! She’d be back in Arkham where The Joker could find her and I’d be charged with harboring fugitives! I could lose my teaching license!”  
After a moment of shock, Edward quickly regained his composure. “Oh please, I’m not an idiot Jonathan. I wasn’t going to let him catch me. And take off that stupid mask!” He added, sitting up and snatching the burlap off the other man’s head. “Listen, my hideout has been compromised, and you promised I could stay here if I was in danger, remember?”  
Jonathan scowled, standing up to tower over the smaller man. In the better lighting the room provided Jonathan noticed the black eye and various small cuts and scraped that adorned the other man. With a resigned sign, he knelt down to help Edward stand up. “Alright, fine. But you will have to sleep on the couch. I’m not waking Harley up at this hour, and I doubt she would enjoy having to share a room.”  
“What, I can’t sleep in here? You wound me, Jon.” Edward jokes, taking off his mask. Walking over to the bathroom, he admires himself in the mirror. He gently touches his face, admiring the bruised skin with a displeased humm. Rifling through the drawers, he managed to find some first aid supplies, which he took back to the main bedroom. “Normally I have Query or Echo here to help me with this, but would you check my back and make sure I’m not bleeding out?”  
With a nod of agreement from Jonathan, he discarded his suit and undershirt, wincing a little as the fabric peeled off his skin. Yup, definitely bleeding. Being knocked on his back probably didn’t help either.  
Jonathan grabbed a towel from the bathroom and ran it under some warm water before making his way over to Edward. He was familiar enough with treating small wounds, having had to do his own first aid as a child. At the very least he could keep any of the wounds from getting infected. He carefully began dabbing at the wound, earning the occasional protest from Edward. When he deemed it clean of debris Jonathan applied some antibiotics to the cut. By the time he was satisfied with his work, Jonathan found Edward nodding off where he sat. Defeated, he lay the man down on his side and threw a blanket over him, earning a confused mumble. He picked up the bloodied clothes from the side of the bed and threw them in the laundry before resigning to the couch. He found himself far too forgiving in the face of an injured friend, even if he didn’t like to admit it. He would make the man sleep on the couch the next night. For now, Jonathan left him to rest.


	9. All Work and No Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonathan and Harley head to work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the longer break between chapters yall! But we're getting closer to the real meat of the story, so Im doing more work on future chapters at the same time as current ones! Also I've been running ideas by my girlfriend so enjoy the fact that Ill have a beta reader at some point in the future

“Jonathaaaan! Jon, where- Why are you on the couch?” Jonathan awoke with a start at the sound of Harley’s voice, looking up to see her leaning over the back of the couch. He muttered a curse under his breath as he checked his phone, realizing he never set an alarm the previous night. Sitting up, he stretched his back with a pop.  
“Don’t worry none, child” He uttered sleepily, a hint of his Georgean accent slipping out. “Just… Stayed up too late on work, is all. Let me grab some work clothes so we can get something to eat. Hopefully I have enough time to open my office today, I’d hate to keep anyone waiting who might have any questions before class.”  
Harley nodded and went to the kitchen to look for something to eat while Jonathan quietly snuck his way back into his bedroom. If he was lucky, Edward was still asleep and he could get in and out without waking him. Better yet, maybe he had had the sense to leave before sunrise, sparing them both an awkward explanation to Harley. He hoped he could keep the fact that Batman had been there last night a secret in hopes of not stressing her out more than she undoubtedly already was. Finding the man still asleep in his bed, Jonathan snuck past and grabbed a change of clothes as well as his laptop and work files. He took a moment to stare at Edward, wondering if he should leave a change of bandages where he could find them. Instead he simply left a note with the location of the medical supplies and his work number should he need to be contacted.  
After changing in the bathroom he makes his way to the kitchen where Harley had started making toast and eggs.  
“Hey Jon! I hope you don’t mind, I made em sunny side up. I don't actually know how to make em any other way.” She said, handing him a plate.  
“I don’t mind, they look lovely. Thank you Harley.” He said, sitting down to eat. With a smile she joined him at the table, happily bouncing her legs under the table.  
After they finished eating, Jonathan grabbed a travel carrier and a bird harness. “I hope you don’t mind, but I think the last few days have been a bit too stressful. I think I’ll bring Cornchip along with us to class today, use her as an example. I don’t think I trust myself to be well without her company.”  
“Oh yeah, I forgot you used to ‘ave that psychiatric health dog, what was her name? Icky?”  
“Ichabod” He smiled, remembering the old hound dog. “She was a wonderful girl. Sadly she passed away a few years back, so I decided to adopt and train Cornchip to do what Ichabod did for me. I admit, maybe choosing a crow wasn’t the smartest choice, but I figured I could use the exposure therapy, and she could use the support of someone willing to adopt an old half blind crow with a bad attitude. I used to be scared to death of crows and ravens, but I must admit she’s opened my heart to their witty personalities. If she hadn't taken to the training well, I would have kept her as a pet instead. I must say I am glad she was responsive.” He scratched the bird behind her head and attached the harness before placing her into the travel carrier and making his way to the door.  
“Alright, let’s be off, I don’t want to be late.”

\----

Upon arriving at the lecture hall, Harley made her way to the back of class with her hoodie pulled up. Sitting down, she pulled out an old notebook and began to act busy. Soon enough, more students made their way into the class and Jonathan began the lecture.

“Alright class, I’m sure you’re all tired from working on your papers, so I’ve decided to postpone our lecture on the amygdala until next class. While I find it fascinating, I’m sure most of you would rather listen to something a little more useful in your campus lives.. As you can see here” Jonathan motioned to the tarp covered travel carrier he had placed on his desk, “I have brought someone to help with today’s topic. This class we will be discussing service, therapy, and support animals. While most of you are likely familiar with seeing eye dogs and the like, animals can be incredibly useful in the field of psychiatric medicine.”  
Jonathan reached under the tarp and unlocked the cage door, retrieving Cornship from her perch and clipping on her harness.  
“Here to help demonstrate is my own support animal, Cornchip the crow. While some animals like dogs can help do tasks like retrieval of medicine, calming down their owner from an episode, and alerting others of emergencies regarding their owner, there are also many other jobs a trained support animal can do. As mentioned in previous lectures, some mental conditions can greatly affect the person's physical mannerisms and health. One of Cornchip’s jobs is to pay attention to my ticks and be sure I do not cause myself any harm. While I do not have many harmful ticks, I do have the habit of pulling out my hair without realizing.”  
To demonstrate, Jonathan began fiddling with his hair and pretending to pull on it. With a defiant squawk, the crow hopped over and on to his arm and began gently biting his hand and fingers. Giving her a scratch under the chin, he turned back to the class and continued explaining the many ways animals helped those struggling with psychiatric illnesses and conditions.

In the back of the class, Harley sat and scribbled in a notebook, only half paying attention to the lecture. Despite having heard all the information before, she still found herself interested in what was being said. It was comforting to hear him talk, a sort of monotone drawl with a hint of an accent and an undeniable interest in anything he was teaching. Her classmates used to always say he talked like someone planning to pick you apart, someone who knew your flaws and would use them to his advantage. But Harley knew better. He could be scary when he was mad, sure, but she always knew it was just because he cared about his students and wanted them to learn. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be spending all his time reading and making lesson plans. Hell, he had the most open office hours of any of the professors she had ever had. Lost in thought, Harley hardly noticed when he dismissed the class and began packing up his desk. It wasn’t until Cornchip hopped onto her desk that she noticed Jonathan standing in front of her, class already empty. Ok, so maybe she wasn’t paying attention to the lecture after all.  
“Oh, we done already?” She looked up sheepishly. Jonathan sighed and motioned for her to follow him to his office.  
“And to think, you were one of my best students.” He joked, feigning offence at her apparent boredom with his class.  
“Aww, I was listening I swear! Just got a little lost in thought that’s all. I think my new sleep schedule is startin to catch up with me, is all. I’ll get used to it soon enough though!”  
Jonathan just hums in response before leading her to his office. The rest of the day went by with relative ease until the time came to head back to the house.


	10. Bad Mood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WOOF, sorry that took so much longer than my chapters usually do! I wanted to make this one a little longer.  
Slight warnings for meltdowns (not described much) and some talk of wounds. Not super explicit or anything, just want to let yall know just in case. Enjoy!

Jonathan could feel himself slowly getting used to Harley’s presence in his life. It had been years since he’d had a roommate, and he had never been fond of it before. His previous college roommates had always been either too loud or too messy. They had ridiculed him for staying in his room all day and cluttering their living space with too many books. He hated it, and the moment he was financially able he had moved into his own apartment and lived alone.   
Despite this, however, Harley had felt… Different. She respected his privacy, kept every room except her own just how Jonathan left it, and never even commented on his strange habits or odd collectables he had placed around the house. She even helped care for Cornchip, offering to clean the bird’s cage and entertain her while Jonathan worked. It was a pleasant experience, and Jonathan found himself perfectly content with her living there as long as she needed.   
The one thing that seemed to throw a wrench into his comfortable lifestyle, however, was sitting in his favorite chair, flipping through a book that Jonathan was fairly sure had been in a locked room.

“Oh, You’re still here.” Jonathan deadpanned.  
“Of course I am, what part of ‘my hideout has been compromised’ do you not understand? One of the Bat’s little sidekicks is probably casing the joint as we speak! God, they’ve probably found all my good whisky. No getting that back I imagine.” Edward huffed, pouring himself a cup of the iced tea Jonathan had made the previous day.  
Jonathan scowled, walking over and snatching his book off the man’s lap. “I figured you would leave. Do you not have another place to slither off to? Or do you find too much joy in messing with my things?” He took a second to look at the cover of the book, pausing suddenly.  
“Oh don’t be such a downer, I was only reading” Edward joked, putting his tea down on the side table. Upon hearing no response, he turned to look at Jonathan again “Jon…? Come on, it’s just a book.”  
Jonathan just stood there, eyes focused on the cover for a long moment. “...Did you… Did you get this from the basement…?”   
Edward began to shift nervously from foot to foot. “I… Yes? It was unlocked, I just got a book and came upstairs. Why? There were just some old chemistry supplies and some books down there.”  
Jonathan continued to stand there for a long moment, only to tense up further upon hearing Harley open the door to the house.  
“Jonny! I finally got Cornchip to get in her cage, do you want me to- Oh.” She stopped, holding the crow’s travel cage by the handle. “...When did Edward get here? Jonny, are you-”  
She was cut off as Jonathan slammed the book down on the arm rest of the chair Edward was sitting in, shaking slightly. “Don’t- Don’t you EVER go down there, I-” He stopped himself before walking stiffly over to Harley. “Just put her back in her aviary. I don’t have the energy for this right now. Clean your own bandages next time you decide to do something stupid, will you Nygma? You can sleep on the couch ok, just don’t touch my shit again. I’m going to bed. Harley, feel free to order pizza or something, I don’t care.”  
The two rogues watched in stunned silence as the taller man walked to the master bedroom and slammed the door behind himself. Harley looked at Edward nervously before quietly slinking to the bird cage and puting Cornchip away for the afternoon. Edward started to speak before thinking better of it. Instead he busied himself by fidgeting with the collar of his shirt, avoiding eye contact with Harley. Both unsure how to react to the situation, the younger woman motioned to the television.  
“Do you, uh… Wanna watch anything?” He just shrugged in response, leaving her to flip channels before landing on a random game show.   
“So… I guess you’re the reason Jon slept on the couch last night, huh?” Harley inquired.  
“Yes, well, one of the Bat’s little birdies found my hideout and I couldn’t afford to be sent back to Arkham. Ended up getting a batarang stuck in my back while escaping and ran here when I was sure I hadn't been followed. At least, pretty sure” He added, grimacing at the idea of having to evade Batman for longer than a few hours. “So anyways, yeah, he patched me up and I ended up passing out on his bed. I guess he didn’t want to bother me, so he slept in the living room instead.”  
“He’s real nice like that, huh. I like him.”   
Edward paused for a moment before muttering a response. “Yeah, I do too. You know, I had planned on killing him when I first met him. He was in a group of civilians I had trapped in a warehouse, and he hardly seemed scared at all. Just bothered that I had made him late to a meeting or something. And above that, he had actually managed to solve the riddle I gave him! I would have made an example out of him then and there but Commissioner Gordon had gotten word of my trap and had surrounded the building already. I didn’t want to deal with him so I fled before they could catch up with me.” He laughed dryly, adding “I even looked him up after too! Was going to use him to test a new trap for Batman since he seemed too high and mighty. Would have been fun. But when I confronted him he just… I don’t know, I guess he interested me. I can’t figure out why, if I’m being honest.”   
Harley nodded, smiling. “The Professah has always been an interestin guy. I’m glad you didnt kill him.”  
“...Me too” He mused.

The two of them spent the next few hours watching whatever came on before Harley finally complained about wanting dinner.   
“Alright, I got us a half cheese, half everything pizza, that sound good to you Ed?”  
He nodded in response before sitting up and adjusting in his chair. “Hey, think you can fix my bandages for me? I uh, I can’t reach them.”  
“Yeah, alright. Jon tell you where the first aid is by any chance?”  
“Yeah it was… Shit, I think it was in his bathroom.” He grumbled, realizing now that he was going to have to confront Jonathan sooner or later, and he was really hoping it was going to be later.  
Harley just waved at him to stay seated. “I’ll get it, don’t worry. Jon won’t be mad at me, even if he’s in a bad mood” She winked, getting up and making her way to the master bedroom.  
Quietly she sneaks to the door, placing a hand on it and listening intently for any sound coming from inside. Once satisfied, she pushes the door open, wincing at the creak it makes. Once she was able to slip inside she noticed Jonathan curled up in bed, fast asleep. With a sigh of relief Harley makes her way across the room and towards the bathroom. She stopped short, however, deciding that she should probably check on Jonathan. After all, he did seem pretty upset. She snuck over to the side of the bed and loomed over Jonathan, trying not to wake him. She frowned as she noticed some fresh scabs and irritation around the man’s temple, recalling his speech that day about Cornchip. The bird helped him not to pick at his hair, didn’t she? Harley suddenly felt guilty for putting the bird away for the night despite the fact that Jonathan seemed to be having a bad day. Maybe she should have let him take her instead?   
Jonathan shifted in his sleep, furrowing his brow and seemingly clicking his teeth in his sleep. Maybe she should leave him be. After all, he needed the rest. Satisfied that he was likely fine for the night, Harley snuck her way into the bathroom and quickly found the bandages and first aid supplies that Jonathan had left out from the night before. Thinking for a moment, she makes a b-line to the kitchen to grab a bowl and fills it with warm water. She makes her way back to the living room before motioning at Edward to take off his shirt.  
“Alright Ed, take it off” She joked. Upon seeing the blood stain that had soaked the bandages on Edward’s back, she winces before giving him an apologetic pat on the shoulder. “Yikes, that looks like it smarts, huh?” He just grumbles in response before unbuttoning his dress shirt and shrugging it off.  
“I trust you know what you’re doing, Harleen?”   
She nods before carefully peeling away the bandage on Edward’s back. After a moment of hesitation, she dampens a cloth with the warm water and starts gently applying pressure. With a little complaining on Edwar’s part, she managed to clean the cut and get a better look at the wound. It was a deep purple around the edges of the cut and the bruising spread a good distance as well. Thankfully the cut itself wasn’t all that deep, and seemed to be bleeding less than it clearly had been when the bandages were first applied. Grabbing some gauze and medical tape, Harley managed to cover the wound thoroughly, nodding in satisfaction.  
“Alright mister, now you don’t go gettin into any more trouble ya hear?” She said in a mock condescending tone.  
Edward just rolled his eyes before putting his shirt back on. He was about to respond but was interrupted by the doorbell. “Ah, that must be the pizza. Throw me that jacket, I don’t want to look too formal or they might recognize me.”   
Halrey just nods and tosses him the Gotham University jacket she had thrown over the back of the couch before grabbing the medical supplies and throwing away the old bandages.  
Edward walked to the door and opened it just a crack, making sure it wasn’t someone who might pose a threat. Seeing the Luigi’s Pizza logo on every piece of clothing the guy was wearing was enough proof that he was legit. No one would willingly dress up to look that tacky, even as a disguise. Quickly paying the man and leaving a generous tip, Edward locked the door and made his way back to the living room. 

The two spent the rest of the night watching whatever was on TV and eating pizza before Harley eventually retired to bed, making sure to throw a spare pillow to him from her room.   
Edward couldn’t help but feel anxious as he fell asleep. Surely Jonathan would realize he was being ridiculous, right? He would be over it in the morning. Probably.


End file.
